Maybe Someday
by lemontwist23
Summary: Angel becomes human and Buffy finds out


Email lemontwist23@hotmail.com  
  
Rating PG-13 basically if you watch the show you're okay  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them sometime I wish I did so I could fix them other time like when people make out with the wrong people I want nothing to do with them but I digress.  
  
Pairing: B/A all the way baby, mentions of C/A and S/B  
  
Author's notes: I wasn't sure about this one so bare with me, I denote Buffy thoughts and Angel thoughts although I'm sure you could have figured out the difference. Oh the title is from a Cure song I love and reminds me of B/A, I suggest listening to it.  
  
Feedback: It's the second best time in the world , ask Anya what the first thing is.  
  
Spoliers: None really , but I'm going to say everything to be safe  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
* Buffy *  
  
So I'm speeding down the highway towards LA. The events leading up to this still reeling in my head I can't believe only two hours ago Willow was telling me he was human. My Angel human and he didn't tell me. I was in shock "How long?" I managed to meek out. Willow shifted uncomfortably "About six months ago Wes said that he was coming down here to tell you but suddenly changed his mind on the way and asked that no one tell you saying that he did not want to disturb your life." But I knew better I remember what I was doing six months ago, I was patrolling. I could feel him coming closer and closer to Sunnydale. I was cursing the connection I could still feel. I kept telling myself I don't love him anymore. But the closer he got the more I panicked. I didn't want another gut wrenching conservation or the look on his face after telling me I'm in trouble and realizing that I welcomed death. And the worst no matter why he was coming he would leave me again. Then it hit me Spike if I was with Spike he couldn't never stand to see me after that kind of betrayal. He would leave me alone for good. No more sewer talks no more what's good for you, no more pain; yeah right. It wasn't hard to get Spike to be an unknowing participate in this betrayal, although I think he knew Angel was watching as he pounded his body into mine. When it was over, I cried for days, all the while convincing myself its for the best. It was my decision and I was going to stick to it. I keep going back to Spike because he loved me and if I closed my eyes hard enough I could fool myself into thinking it was Angel but it never really worked. It was more I needed something to think about instead of what I was really doing. And now knowing he was human and we could have had everything starting that night I ran from him makes that night all the more painful. So now I'm off to LA to beg for forgiveness and beg for a future together. I ran up the steps of the hotel following the pull of his soul on mine. I opened the door and my future drained away as did the color in my face. My Angel yes mine mine mine was kissing Cordelia in a 'we do this all the time kiss'. I did not think I could breath but I heard myself gasp. He jumped almost ten feet away from him and Cordy were dumbfounded. All that kept running through my head was he said forever forever forever.  
  
*Angel*  
  
She laughed bitterly I could not even look at her in the eye. Her green beautiful eyes were so full of hate, it was all directed at me well I'm sure Cordy shared a little, but I deserved it all. "You told me you loved me and not even death could change that, but I guess a couple of years in LA with Cordelia Chase can change that."  
  
*Buffy*  
  
I said it out loud before I could stop it. It was more of a statement then an accusation to cover the pain I followed with some nasty comment until his face turned that painful look only reserved for me. Cordy gets kissage and I get depression, guilt and left. But I was really to blame before he could even explain or apologize to me I left. I did not deserve an apology was he really expected to wait forever especially with a now limited life and the knowledge of me and Spike was I worth waiting for NO! so I ran out he deserves happiness. I ran. I couldn't take it I betrayed him I slept with Spike and said horrible things to him and he was going to apology to me. I saw it in his eyes the guilt the sorrow. I couldn't hear the words I don't deserve him he is my happiness and I don't deserve him.  
  
*Angel*  
  
I opened my mouth to respond but she was gone just as fast as she appeared. I wanted to tell her that I loved her always only, that after she died I died, that nothing changed between us. Except that's not true, I'm human and she's gone. The look on Cordy's face says it all our relationship was a crutch I was tired of being alone and she wanted someone to take care of her we would lie to each other. I would tell her Buffy means nothing to me and she tells me we were happy. I needed to know Buffy still didn't have that much control over me because then I would be able to love someone else. I would be able to bare eternity without her, the very thought was unbearable. If I never saw her I told myself I could pretend she will live forever but deep down I knew better. The first two times she died I felt it instantly, and someday I will feel it again. Suddenly I don't want another second to go by without her. I want to hold her when she slides on my wedding ring, she has our first baby and finally when she passes. I need her I always have. It's funny everything changed but things are still the same the important things a least. I maybe human but she's still my world I may not have vampire senses anymore, but I can still feel her, as if our souls have be bonded beyond time it gives me comfort to think that our souls will always to together. I wondered if Buffy can still feel the pull does she still wants our souls to be bound forever. I look at Cordy and she simply states "Run!" I am running at full sprint on a busy LA street I know she's this way because I feel like she's just out of reach which means she does not want to be found. I find it strange that I do not know for certain what she wants what she's thinking. I use to feel confident about this. Until the day I felt my heart beat I ran to Sunnydale unable to control my excitement, squashing any doubt that she wouldn't want to see me. Sure it would be work getting our lives to fit together again, but it was worth it. I followed the pull towards her, which led me into one of the many cemeteries in Sunnydale, this I expected it was late, and she was no doubt on patrol. What I didn't expect was the pull towards Spike's crypt. I reminded myself that Buffy once said he was harmless and even helps out sometimes. I had only been human for all of two and a half hours and one of my favorite things was breathing it sounds stupid but it makes you normal, human. I found myself not being able to breath at the sight of my mate, yes I still feel she's mine stupid I know, having sex with Spike. Sometimes when it is deathly quiet and I was alone I could still hear them mating, then I would close my eyes and see it. Needless to say I tried never to be alone again hence Cordy. I know it's harsh but I could not see that anymore it was making me crazy.  
  
* Buffy *  
  
I can feel the pull and I try to out run it I hide in the park I can't decide if I want him to find me. Then I see him he stops I thought for sure he sees me but he does not, suddenly the pull is so great against my will I walk towards him. I feel the need to confess everything to him. We stared at each other I was hypnotized by the rhythm of his breathing it becomes one of my favorite things about him. His voice snaps me back to reality he asks me not to leave I try not to laugh because the thought is so absurd. I answer him and then more silence. I start to confess and with each one i take a step closer to my salvation.  
  
*Angel *  
  
I stop and look at my surroundings I'm in a park. I stand very still and close my eyes and focus on the pull. Suddenly I can feel her all around me. I'm afraid to reach out and touch her because she might disappear, but the other half is terrified if I don't she'll run again. I'm too awestruck by her beauty to move but she does not run. "Don't leave me.'' I blurt out. "That's suppose to be my line." She grinned. We just stared at each other for what felt like hours but probably only minutes. I just stood there soaking up her warmth and beauty. "I slept with Spike" I grimaced I knew this but it still stung. She continued "I knew you were there that night. I just couldn't deal with another heartbreaking conservation, I don't think you realize the power you have over me." "If it's anything like you over me I have an idea." I said now it is my turn for confessions. "I slept with Darla." It came out so fast I wasn't even sure if it was my voice. With each confession we step closer to each other. I told her about Darla, Conor, and Cordy. She told me about Spike, and how she used to have a death wish. Now we were practically on top of each other. Then came the hardest confession, but the best to get off my chest. "I love you always and forever." Now she's inches from my lips. She answers "I love you , I always have and I always will." And with that I grabbed her in a deep passionate kiss swearing never to let her go. 


End file.
